winter is coming. Do you know what this means? Cuff season is upon us. And if you’ve been following the #cuffingseason, you’ll know that September is the “formulation” and October is the “testing” phase.
It has nothing to do with sports. It’s all about dating during this time of year.
Says Samantha Burns, psychotherapist, dating coach, and author Get Rid of Dating: 7 Steps to Finding Your Person. “It’s the time when casual dating transitions to more exclusive and committed dating. It’s about enjoying the warmth of a cuddle. owner Instead of venturing out in the cold to meet potential dating failures,” she says.
There is no confirmed scientific data on dating trend, some outlets have attempted to quantify it. In a survey conducted by the dating app Coffee Meets Bagel, about half of the singles surveyed said they think more about dating during the cuff season, and 4 in 10 say they are more likely to use dating apps during this time. A fifth of survey respondents said they would date someone in the winter to avoid feeling lonely, according to data analytics firm YouGov. (This survey emphasized that restraint is a short-term conscious tendency, but of course these relationships can last much longer.)
While the term may sound hilarious and fun, the drive to restrict is based on a deep, natural human need, says psychologist Lisa Marie Poppy, Ph.D., host of the Love, Happiness, and Success podcast. “In the summer, people roam like dragonflies. In the winter, at least in the northern hemisphere, it is cold and dark, and it can feel very lonely.” “There’s this evolutionary allure to connecting with other humans, which is often unconscious.”
Not to mention that no matter where you live, the holidays – with all the family events and parties – are on the horizon. Bobby says that just seeing the decorations in the stores can direct you to seek communication. This is especially true if you want to be able to always lock up your critical aunt at the Thanksgiving table. (Yes, I did find someone!) And if one of your goals this year is finding a partner, you’re now on a deadline—and that might get you even more excited to get out there.
Regardless of your motives, they are valid and useful. “Finding the right person takes a lot of energy and effort,” says Bobby. Cuff season can give you that extra boost you need.
How long can the cuff last?
While the restriction may be seasonal driven, it is not always a temporary inversion. For some, this is the case: You want someone to be your best friend on the holidays. “A relationship can fizzle out with the onset of spring, but you can also genuinely fall in love and create a long-term relationship,” Burns says.
There is also an opportunity to get to know people on a deeper level during this time of year. “It always takes a long time to really get to know someone,” says Bobby. “Connecting and developing a relationship during a quieter time of year is to your advantage, as it can help you get to know someone on a more meaningful level.”
Asking in just the two of you or cuddling on the couch, for example, may set the stage for deeper conversations. At the very least, being single helps you determine whether you really enjoy spending time with this person and whether their goals and values align with yours. And if you brought them around the family for the holidays (or went on their vacations)? This is another way to deepen that connection and see if this is a good fit. With the onset of spring, you have enough time to see if you want to keep going.
Whether winter is coming or it’s chilly in the middle of summer, a few things are important to keep in mind for a healthy partnership.
Communicates: Don’t know your new partner’s intentions regarding the relationship? Burns urges you to open the lines of communication to get to the same page. You might want a long-term commitment, but what if they want something more casual? I hope they’re open to answering questions about where you two are standing, but if they avoid or shut down the conversation, it’s an indication that they’re not taking things as seriously as you are, she says. It will be up to you to decide if you are OK with this. Likewise, if you’re at a crossroads in the relationship and don’t want to stay with the person you’re shackled to anymore, it’s important to be clear and break up (no suspicion).
Open: It’s not just BSC The franchise has a trademark on exposure. In fact, if you’re trying to find your guy during cuffing season, Burns suggests having meaningful, crunchy conversations during the first few dates. This includes big questions, like having children (and raising them!), what your political beliefs are, what you want out of life, and much more. This has a dual purpose: “This is how you can not only create a deeper emotional connection and form a connection,” says Burns, “but also make sure that you don’t waste your time with someone who will only be around for one season, or who doesn’t want the same things.” “.
work on yourself: Before cuff season begins, it’s a great time to do the inner workings that can help promote attraction of the right partner and build healthy relationships, says Bobby. Clarifying your identity and values and gaining self-awareness about your patterns in relationships is an act of personal growth that can help you make good decisions.