I thought no one would want me if they knew the truth all my life. Not because I’m an ax killer or a puppy hater or anything else; It’s just because I’m me, and “me” is really messy. .’s inner life Bipolar It can be torture. Then there’s everything Natasha has to offer on top of it. then there Ahler Danlos. then there Fibromyalgia. And in fact, I thought nobody wanted me before these last two really asserted themselves, so I can only imagine how unwanted I am now. But the one thing I know is that a lot of people think no one would want them if they knew who they really were. Specifically, I know so many disabled people I guess no one would want them if they knew who they really were. But are disabilities – Two-way disorder Or else – standing in the way of being wanted?
Nobody wants the real me
I was up this morning at 3:30 in the morning. This is partly because I go to bed early and partly because I did Insomnia. I have been suffering from insomnia for about two years. I’m sure anyone in my bed would love to have their lover get up and move at 3:30 in the morning.
When I wake up, I gasp Pain As I take my first few steps. My body (especially my knees) doesn’t like movement, especially in the morning.
By 5:30 a.m. I was crying on my couch, using napkin after napkin. Waves of sadness, melancholy and sadness, etc., are not uncommon to me. I suffer from bipolar disorder and am depressed. I have no doubt that someone would love to walk their loved ones crying uncontrollably at random moments. It’s just the way to start your day.
By 6:30 a.m. I’m taking painkillers for my sprouting HeadacheWhich will undoubtedly afflict me all day. Someone next to me will see the pain of a headache on my face for the millionth time.
Blech, the real me is awful.
Nobody wants me disabled
If I were to list all the things that normal people do that I can’t do because of one of my illnesses, that would take up pages and pages. Two broad categories are:
- Exercise – I have a sports intolerance. This means that when I exercise, I feel worse, not better.
- Listening to sad music/watching sad movies – anything that might be sad can make for the worst Symptoms of depression.
I can’t tell you how much I wish the above wasn’t true. I can’t tell you how much I wish I could move Normal Person. I can’t tell you how much I wish things wouldn’t cause problems for my mind. But those things be TRUE, I Not Normal Personand things be I kicked my brain at the drop of an eyelash.
Thank God I am past the age where people expect me to have children. This was just another thing The thing I couldn’t (chose not to do) because of my disability.
Does anyone really want someone who – which handicapped?
real hide from me
I’m online dating now. I’ve reached out to a few people and I have a few appointments planned. However, you can bet that none of the above will be discussed on the mentioned dates. I’m “lucky” enough to have “passed” a physically healthy person over coffee or drinks, so no one needs to know all of the above.
Of course this causes some problems:
- Nobody likes to hide, lie, etc.
- I’ll have to make excuses for not being able to go on certain types of dates (like going on a walk).
- The other person will find out about me if they’ve been around for a while.
- I’ll have to deal with rejection when they find out who I really am.
Does anyone want me real, handicapped?
But here’s the thing, while all of the above is true, these scenarios are also full of exceptions. People find love with all kinds of mental and physical illnesses and disabilities. True, I don’t know anyone who has a special mix of crap in a successful relationship, but I have no doubt that they are out there. And there’s nothing so special about them, or so special about me, that I couldn’t do it either.
And I think that’s the thing to remember. Everyone has flaws and problems. It doesn’t matter whether your body or your brain is the picture of health; Bugs and issues still occur. And people everywhere think they are unwanted if people know who they really are. everybody He has this fear. everybody He hides their worst qualities in plain sight.
So, I guess I’d say worrying that no one wants you if they know you’re not a disability problem, it’s actually a human problem. That’s right, in this case, we don’t have anything in the mores.
Above all, no matter what your problem is, no matter what your disability is, you are more than that. You are a sparkling, radiant human being that shimmers in the sun. You are special and unique. And there’s always someone special and unique who wants it.