Do you sometimes notice that you are so angry and angry at something or someone that anger takes over your mind and body? Have you seen those people on the road so upset that they started screaming and cursing over minor movements that caused them little or no harm? Have you ever had those days when you were really angry about something in your office and you brought it out by yelling at your loved ones?
These situations are clear examples of what anger looks like. Displaced anger is an unhealthy coping mechanism that humans have grown to use to deal with our emotions. In practical terms, joking anger means moving away from the real cause of the anger to the target that seems like the safer option. This person you choose like the target generally has no idea what the main problem is and ends up taking the brunt of something that was not their fault, to begin with.
When you frequently use your family members or friends as punching bags to vent your anger, it starts eating away at the foundations of your relationships. Displaced anger can ultimately destroy your life by damaging the relationships you cherish. However, there is a lot you can do to save your relationships from anger outbursts. Let’s dig deeper into the best ways to deal with displaced anger effectively.
Dealing with the anger of the displaced
1. Understand your signs of anger
The cause of anger is mostly the same – you are faced with a particular situation where you feel afraid, ashamed, or confused to express how you really feel. The enemy could be something or someone in your office or home. Whatever the reason, somehow, you start to internalize your feelings of anger instead of expressing them. Unfortunately, these feelings can’t be kept hidden for long, and eventually, you end up blowing up on your loved ones.
To eliminate this tendency to hold in anger and release it, you first need to understand the signs in yourself. Sit down with yourself and identify the situations in which you overreact. If you are having a hard time understanding these signs, look at the people around you who are modeling such behavior. A co-worker who gets up easily or a family member who is naturally excitable can be good examples.
Once you understand these signs, you’ll be able to deal with them in a healthier way the next time you start feeling them. Most importantly, you will be able to rationalize your anger and deal with it in a healthy way instead of suppressing it.
2. Determine who or what the real enemy is.
No matter how well you deal with the feelings of anger building up inside you, the most important step in dealing with misplaced anger is finding the real problem behind your anger. So the next time you get angry, take some time for yourself, breathe deeply, and try to identify what is fueling those feelings of anger.
Most of the time, we push the real cause out of our awareness and end up targeting someone we love. Fortunately, when you develop an internal pointer to analyze the real problem, you will be able to deal with the hotspot of the problem.
Read more: How to get rid of pent-up anger
3. Admit your mistakes
Most of the time, our relationships get strained because we forget to take responsibility for our actions. Once you understand the causes of your anger and the focus of your hurt, it’s time to deal with the damage caused by your displaced anger. Talk about your feelings and problems with your partner, apologize for your actions and start over.
In addition, try to find forgiveness within yourself as well. Knowing that you have messed up your relationships can be overwhelming. With self-compassion and forgiveness, you will be able to handle these feelings better and learn from your mistakes.
Displaced anger is a situation in which a person directs their anger at an easier or reachable target rather than the real cause of the problem. It can cause tremendous emotional stress and strain relationships and family ties. We hope these methods will help you deal with feelings of displaced anger.
However, if you feel that you and your partner have deeper relationship issues than you can resolve on your own, it may be time for professional help. With the help of a trained relationship counselor or therapist, you can effectively discover the root cause of problems and their solutions. Getting professional help has become easier with the advent of online therapy platforms. to know more about it, click here.
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