Among the Native Americans, the Plains tribes have a tradition called “counting coups,” in which a warrior in battle touches an enemy during close combat either with his hand or with a stick in coups d’etat—a short decorated team designed for this purpose. Counting coups was more an honor than beating an enemy for what was required: courage. The warrior had to show the courage to stand on his toes and face to face with the threat, the source of fear, and to say through deeds, “I am not afraid of you.”
In our lives and careers, we will all have many moments where we will have the opportunity to exercise courage and show courage to overcome situations fraught with anxiety, stress, fear or pain. Think about how many of those moments you had on your trip. When we display these moments of courage at work by confronting our challenges and fears head-on, we must recognize them. In doing so, we can store these precious and powerful experiences in our toolkit for future use. Here’s how to do it and why it’s important:
Don’t just skip it
Oftentimes, when we put up with something difficult, painful, or scary, we stumble to the other side and think, “Wow, glad I got over that,” and move on to the next thing. When we do this, we leave a lot of good on the table that can serve us in the future. First, we must realize that we not only “get through” it, but always “grow through it”. When we realize this fact, we can consciously shift our mindset to open up to this growth the next time we face difficulties in our lives. Don’t just skip it; Grow through it, and benefit from those lessons while crafting experiences at the core of our soul.
Think about what it takes to overcome it
When we stop getting past the moments of overcoming challenges, we pause and reflect on what those difficult moments require of us. This is where we process events and extract information from our learning moments. What was required of you when you decided to change career, leave a relationship, go back to school, tackle a tough project, get back in shape, face someone’s bad behavior — or make the decision to deal with your own? Of course, they needed decisiveness, discipline, determination, support, etc., but the root of these requirements was courage. I respect this fact. Celebrate how bold you were in those moments. Then you can ask questions like “What did I learn about myself?” , “What surprised me about the experience?” , “What’s the hardest part about it all?” And most importantly, “How can I use what I learned in the future?” Maybe you’ll see that things weren’t as bad as they seemed…or maybe they were a lot worse, and you’re still moving on. We don’t learn or come to wisdom if we don’t take time to reflect on and process learning.
Base your faith on something more than faith
Don’t get me wrong, faith is a powerful and supportive force, and belief in what we cannot yet see is critical to our progress. However, now that you’ve stored these moments away in your tank of courage, the next time things get scary, you don’t have to rely solely on faith when it comes to your bravery. You have compelling evidence and concrete examples you can rely on! You can confidently say, “I have this,” because you’ve been here before. You know what courage at work looks and feels like, and now you know how to respond. Think about this: No matter what scary thing you’re going through personally and professionally, I guarantee you’ve gone through something just as hard, and you’re still here doing what you want. Be proud of that and respect yourself in that realization. And you have confidence in knowing that you can extract what you need from your tank in the future whenever you need it. You have proof, evidence-based, that whatever you might encounter on your next trip, you really “got this”!
DJ Vanas is a registered member of the Ottawa Tribe and a former US Air Force officer. He is a thought leader, speaker, producer, and author of three books. His latest is The warrior inside. DJs for groups like Intel, NASA, Subaru, Disney, the US Army, Mayo Clinic, and more than 500 tribal nations show how to use traditional warrior principles to stay strong, resilient, lead bravely, and deliver our best no matter the circumstances. He was also the presenter of the PBS Special Discover your warrior spirit. To contact a DJ or to speak for inquiries, please visit nativediscovery.com.
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