Are ejaculation problems more of a mental issue than a matter?
Well, if men and their partner don’t mind the time it takes to ejaculate, it doesn’t really matter. For example, Ian Kerner, Ph.D., sex therapist and author It comes firstMen are advised to bring their partners to the brink of orgasm before intercourse. Then, if so vulnerable Premature ejaculationIt doesn’t matter because they both come with satisfaction.
Conversely, if a man takes longer than average to ejaculate, but both partners are enjoying the marathon sex sessions, then delayed ejaculation can be a real advantage.
However, some men rave about how long it takes them to ejaculate — and so do their partners. But while the mind often plays a huge role in creating ejaculation problems, it is also the key to overcoming them. Here are some tips on what to do.
Common ejaculation problems
There are three main things that can go wrong during ejaculation:
- Premature ejaculation It is the biggest complaint men have about their sexual performance. After examining data collected by the National Survey of Health and Social Life, sociologist Edward Lohmann, PhD, estimated that a third of American men complain that they ejaculate too quickly. They want to last longer during intercourse to prolong the pleasure, both for themselves and for their partners.
- delayed ejaculation It affects a much smaller number of men — less than 3%, according to some estimates. It is one of the most misunderstood ejaculation problems. Some men can’t reach orgasm at all, at least not with a partner.
- backward ejaculation It is the least common ejaculation problem. It causes the semen to return bladder during orgasm rather than through orgasm rod. The semen is then later discarded when urinating.
Retrograde ejaculation can be caused by diabetes, Nerve damageDifferent pharmaceuticaland surgery that disturbs the sphincter muscle. It is harmless and will not interfere with the feeling of an orgasm. (It can also make for an easy post-sex clean-up.) But since it affects fertilitySome men may need treatment if their partners try it Loaded.
What causes delayed ejaculation?
There are many different causes for delayed ejaculation. Some medicines – eg Antidepressants – That could cause it. For many men, this is caused by advancing age. As we get older, the nerve endings in our nerves end rod become less sensitive, says Barbara Kissling, PhD, author All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50Professor of Human Sexuality at California State University, Fullerton.
“When reactions slow down, they take longer,” says Kissling. “The other thing that happens with age is that your ability to have an erection also declines, so it becomes more difficult to ejaculate without a full erection.”
You may also have a hand in the problem of delayed ejaculation. By adopting a masturbation A style that involves intense pressure, friction, and speed, some men train themselves to respond to a level of stimulation that no partner can replicate—at least not without training, which a man is usually reluctant to give.
He sometimes recommends stopping masturbation to men who delay orgasm, says Michael A. Perlman, PhD, a sex and marital therapist in New York. This does more than stop practices that may be contributing to the problem. It also allows for a buildup of sexual desire, providing a “mechanism for lowering the arousal threshold needed for orgasm,” Perlman says.
But while masturbation can cause delayed ejaculation, it can also help. If a man won’t agree to keep his hands off, Perelman will at least urge him to change his masturbation technique—to switch hands, for example—in order to break old habits. The problem is that the tried-and-true, quick-and-dirty masturbation technique is probably a terrible practice for having sex with another person.
So instead of simply masturbating efficiently to achieve orgasm, Perelman encourages men to imagine a sexual experience with their partner while masturbating. Tell them to try to “approximate, in terms of speed, pressure, and technique, the stimulation he’s likely to experience through manual, oral, or vaginal stimulation with his partner.” It may take a little longer, but it makes masturbation more of a “rehearsal” for sex. Perlman suggests that you can also talk to your partner about your fantasy afterward.
Premature Ejaculation Treatment: Self-Love
So what about the most common problem of premature ejaculation? In this case, masturbation could be just the ticket. Frequent orgasms will delay ejaculation in almost any man. Some believe that the best advice for premature ejaculation is to double the number of orgasms a man has per week. And if that doesn’t work, double it again.
There is some evidence to support this folk remedy.
says Chris J. McMahon, MD, in a 2004 study published in the journal Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Masturbation may also help men learn to control their level of arousal, which is essential to delaying orgasm.
Other ways to treat premature ejaculation
One of the once-honored techniques for premature ejaculation is distraction — thinking of something boring or even disgusting to delay orgasm. While this may work for some, it has the unfortunate side effect of alienating men from their partners and the sexual experience.
There is also an obvious alternative: withdraw and stop having sex for a few minutes to postpone orgasm. Sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson detailed this when they developed the “squeeze and pause” technique, also known as “penis grip,” to quell the urge to climax. As the name suggests, this involves squeezing the head of the penis as orgasm approaches.
Perelman teaches men a variation of the Masters and Johnson style. It involves slowing themselves down and changing their movements in a way that increases their partner’s pleasure. They do this while maintaining their erection but without over-stimulating themselves.
Antidepressants for premature ejaculation?
For men for whom none of these techniques help, there is a drug option. Since some antidepressants — selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs — are known to cause delayed ejaculation, researchers tried them as a way to treat premature ejaculation. It usually takes 2-3 weeks to get the full effects from an SSRI. If you stop treatment, your symptoms will return.
A short-acting SSRI called dapoxetine was developed specifically for premature ejaculation. According to a 2006 study published in scalpelWhen taking the drug one to three hours before sex, the time from penetration to ejaculation increased from 1.75 minutes to 2.78 minutes for men treated with 30 milligrams of the drug. The men who got the 60 mg supplement lasted 3.32 minutes.
“Two minutes may not seem like a lot, but for these guys it was huge,” said the study’s lead author, John L. Pryor, MD, when the results were published in September 2006. It is approved by the FDA and is not available in the United States.
Instead of medication, some men use a desensitizing cream to delay orgasm. There is a simpler solution: double the files condoms To reduce your motivation. For some men, behavioral and psychological therapies also help. The combination of treatment and medication appears to be more effective than just taking medication.
Treatment of ejaculation problems
Whatever your ejaculation problem, there are solutions. The key is to get help. And we don’t just mean a doctor, though that’s important — ejaculation problems can be signs of more serious medical problems, after all.
But you also need to talk candidly with your partner—something a lot of guys hate to do.
Almost all over the world, guys [with ejaculation problems] They fail to communicate their preferences for stimulation to their physician or partners, out of shame, embarrassment, or ignorance,” Perelman told WebMD.
So don’t stay silent and let shame or male pride ruin your (and your partner’s) sex life. Letting this stress build up will only make things worse. With some openness, some discussion, and maybe some fun new techniques in the bedroom, you can get over your ejaculation problem. That means less anxiety and more sex.
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