Most small talk about the weather revolves around, “How did you get here?” or “what’s your job?” There’s only so much you can talk about with the first two, and they don’t work for everyone. Asking different questions can destroy expected curiosity and help spark curiosity, and help both parties learn to listen more deeply to each other. This creates a sense of connection and intimacy, without the risk of eroding another person’s boundaries or giving away too much information.
As an exercise in self-awareness that might bring you some hearty laughs, be mindful of your responses to these questions. And if you’re as obsessed with asking as I am, you might enjoy crafting questions that suit your style the most.
Understandably, it might feel strange to ask these questions at first. Start with the lighter ones, and then use the others in response to conversational cues given by the other party.
Most importantly, remember that the people who make their craft look so effortless have trained thousands of hours. So, take every opportunity to improve your art Have great conversations. And reap the rewards that come from deeper connections.